Also look into SMART recovery and rational recovery. Especially the AVRT crash course. The emphasis is on responsibility beyond just putting down the bottle and getting to the ROOT of her behavior which if not addressed just manifests as another addiction. 4 days isn't very long at all. But you did not get married to settle on being third place for the next 50 years and sitting about in rooms learning to detach. God and Sobriety are parts of her life that don't need to exclude you. Addicts are selfish at their core. Too many simply trade active selfish for sober selfish. Don't buy it. She has a responsibility to herself and you and society. You are not addicted to being needed. Marriage is a interdependent structure. This overemphasis on independence is more American culture than anything having to to with recovery. .She has not upheld her part, but is now trying, so by all means support her and give her some space to figure it out, but hold her accountable . By all means take care of yourself. But realize that if she can't get her crap together, you may have to start building a life apart. Good Luck