Hi Sleepie, this is an interesting topic you have started.
It was a revelation to me, when I started reading on SR, the number of people who developed alcohol problems in their 30's.
I had my first drink at 14 years old and by the time I was 16 it was clear (not to me....) that me and alcohol made a very bad duo.
I did not have a great childhood, my father was an epic hoarder (not only did I not have friends over, I did every thing I could to hide where I lived from the other kids). Then in junior high school I was bullied. This was back before bullying was really identified as a problem so I was told by the school counselor and principal to "stand up to the bullys" when I simply had no tools to deal with this on my own.
I have always felt like I am on the outside looking in. Even today.
Back when I sobered up the first time, in my mid 20's, I came across a button that said "It is never too late to have a happy childhood". Until I came across this thread I had forgotten that little gem.
I am now 56 years old and I have been thinking a lot about my early history since I stopped drinking 6 months ago. I know I haven't faced those demons yet. This is my biggest challenge but likely my best chance at remaining sober and having a chance at a happy now.
I hope you can be softer on yourself ((((Sleepie))))