Thank you everyone it means so much that you took the time to post.
Sparklekitty I never thought of it like that, I never understood the importance of why I needed to love myself first. Why would I believe or feel anyone could love me when I don't love myself!!
Dandylion thank you I didn't even realise I had used negative self talk, I am working hard not to and yes I did apologise, working on that to I apologise for everything even if I've no need to apologise. Another trait so people will like me but also because I know I'm rambling again!!
Guess this is where the be gentle on myself needs to come in eh knowthetriggers. Thank you