Originally Posted by noinsanity2423

It's been a little over a month since I left my ex alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, verbally abusive fiancé. The first few weeks were really hard, and I spent a lot of time crying over her, missing her, and trying every way I could to explain to her that she really hurt me and we could only be together if she quit and got help.

She chose to blame me for leaving, and insisted that I needed to stay to help her get better. She said I was wrong to leave, she doesn't have a problem, I lied to her family, that I'm a wicked person, and I should just let her believe that she will find someone who loves her for "how she is."

I'm so angry that she chose to get drunk despite knowing that she has cheated on people before. I'm so angry that she didn't choose to protect our relationship by putting herself in that situation. I'm so mad that she cheated in front of me by locking herself in a bathroom with a lesbian while drunk as I stood outside knocking on the door. I'm so mad that she kissed that same girl on the mouth in front of me while drunk the next time she went over, even though she promised me she wouldn't go there again. I'm so mad that she told me it was weird to get mad at her for that, and that I had no reason to be jealous. I'm so mad that she told me it wasn't cheating. I'm so mad she kissed another guy that same night. I'm so mad she got drunk with her Dad and got him to pull out a gun as they argued with me there. I'm so mad she quit her job and stayed stoned all day while I paid the bills. I'm so mad for all the hurtful things she said to me whenever we argued about her drinking or how she was irrationally thinking that I didn't love her. I had to fight with her to convince her I loved her.

Most of all, I am so mad that despite her doing all that, she says that I'M at fault for leaving, and I ruined her life by telling her and her family everything in a letter that she did to me. I'm so mad that she calls me a liar for saying what she did to me.

Does anyone else feel this way after you leave? Sometimes, I still question if I should have stayed and tried to help her, but I know deep down that she never listened when I tried to talk to her about it. She got mad every time I confronted her. I remember her promises to never put me through X again, but it was always something else she put me through while drunk.

I have the full story in "I Left the Chaos," if anyone wants to read it.

Just let me know if it's normal to feel this angry and still question if leaving this girl I loved so much was really my only option.