Originally Posted by
tommyvet 
there seems to be no concern on her part for anything but her getting better. At what point do we get to rebuild what she is responsible for tearing apart? I can't help but to be as mad as hell for that and I am the one that has to try to be strong for our marriage.
Sounds to me like there is concern. However, what has happened cannot be made to "un-happen"--if she is working her program then at some point she will be taking concrete action to repair what damage she can. But if she doesn't focus on her sobriety as the number one priority at this point, you can kiss goodbye any thoughts of that. If she doesn't learn to deal with life sober, she won't be in a position to be any good to anyone.
Believe me, whatever it may look like from the outside, she is doing hard work and she is being strong, too. It isn't all on you. Let go of some of that control you're trying to hold onto so hard. Keep the focus on you, and great things will happen for you--regardless of what she does.