We talked for awhile and he said "I know I'm an embarrassment" and he said he understands, but, he was crying when he said it. He's not coming. I told him his behavior is too unpredictable and I have a lot of older people, kids, friends, etc. and don't want to be embarrassed. He kept trying to say "well, so and so gets drunk", and the people he was naming drink, but no one ever, ever acts inappropriate. He couldn't understand why this year he can't come, but, past years he was doing drugs and he was allowed to come. I told him that this was a long time coming, leading up to this. I told him I can't stand being around him when he's drunk, and I told him he gets confrontational.
I woke up a few times last night and this is the first thing I thought about. I'm completely sick over it. I feel sick to my stomach. I called my ex-husband last night and he said, "you are doing the right thing". He said my son stopped over on Father's Day and was so drunk and embarrassing, that he does not want him at any future family parties.
I know it in my head that this was the right thing, but, my heart hurts. I told my son "Why can't you stop drinking". His girlfriend messaged me later saying that my son was just upset and for me not to be upset about it. In his mind he is doing better than past years, but he is actually worse.
One of our guests is a police officer, so if need be, he could talk to him.
I am not even looking forward to this weekend and now I feel like a traitor having fun. If I was reading this post about someone else, I would feel like Oh my gosh, you did the right thing. Don't stress over it. But when it is you, it is not so simple.
I wish this would make a difference, but, I don't think it will. I think if anything he will use it for an excuse to drink.
Thank you for all your insight and help. I really appreciate the support.