an update ...
after reading about AVRT and thinking about it, it seems clear that those thoughts I was having are just the AV trying to get me to start believing I didn't have a problem. But I did have a problem, regardless of how it is labeled.
It occurs to me that instead of obsessing over the differences in my "hitting bottom" compared to other people "hitting bottom", I could simply choose to be grateful that I didn't have to suffer any more than I did. And I could focus on being compassionate to other people in recovery who are all working hard, just as I am, to do things differently.
I'm glad I found this site.
