Tommyvet, welcome to SR. I'd like to echo the earlier posters who said it's going to take time. I know that when I was new here, I felt that if only alcohol was removed from the equation, everything would be roses and sunshine. What I learned was that if alcohol was removed from the equation, what I'd be left with was all the other problems, both mine and the A's, that the alcohol had been used to cover up. Since alcohol was never removed from the equation for very long in my case, I got the benefit of BOTH ways of things sucking, depending on what was going on!
How you feel is understandable--you put up w/all kinds of crap, and now it's time for the payoff, right? Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that.
It sounds nuts, but the best way to spend your energy right now is by working on your OWN recovery--none of us have managed to live w/active alcoholics and escape unscathed, trust me. SR is a great resource, as is Alanon. I find great value in both of them and think you might too.