Glad you found SR TommyVet! Early recovery is really tough on both individuals.
Is there anything you could focus on to keep your attention off of your wife for awhile? Any solo trips or big projects you can do? I run half marathons with a running buddy. I have two trips planned without my H later this year. I am taking a college class in July. I make sure to have some individual activities to fill my time rather than my spouse filling my time. I tend to get too involved in his issues and his busines, so it may seem a bit selfish to focus on yourself - but it is very likely takes the pressure off the relationship at this juncture.
I know it hurts and you feel lonely. Have you tried Al Anon? Those people would get you too.
As for her connection to fellow addicts, be glad she has the connections. Be grateful you are not an addict.
Peace!