Yep, the whole routine was a "high" for me. From the time I decided to drink to seeing how much cash I had on hand; the timing of when it would be safe to be at the store so no one I knew would see me to bringing it home and stashing it after I slammed down my first of many in my binge. Then trying to pace myself so I would have some to get me through the night and early morning...only to start planning my next trip to the store...wow, what a "fix" or so I thought. Now, it seems like a waste!