mom died suddenly
i never apologized
for running away
she said i lived a
charmed life but little did she
know my suffering
nor did i want her
to know that she was all too
often a main source
she died suddenly
but had been dead many years
mom was a zombie
if i got too close
i feared she would eat my brain
or rather my heart
not with teeth but with
tears and dysfunction like blood
red stains on her cheeks
eyes always swimming
in pools overflowing with
drowned grief and regret
pupils like ink dots
from years of painkillers and
hiding from the world
she was a good mom
or she tried to be and i
still love her for it