Guys I really appreciate your responses like I can't even begin to express how important just a tiny bit of human interaction is to me right now. I'm on the edge of some really ridiculous Bullsh/t.... In another bar, on the way here there were a few crackheads in town asking for change and I had ten pence (kinda like ten cents I guess), had a bit of banter as I was walking off. Downed a Bloody Mary in this next bar then marched out with the change asking them if they could get coke. Guy said he could get crack and I was like nah and gave him my change and told him to have a good night. Got a ******* hug off the guy and I'm back in the bar seriously considering going back down there and paying for their crack just to get ****** up Jesus Christ what's wrong with me its like I want to destroy myself just to be around people no matter how screwed up they are or how much it's gonna ******* ruin me, I'm scaring the hell out of myself right now