Originally Posted by EndGameNYC

This suggests that you're willing to do whatever is necessary in order to remain sober. I'm no hero, I've never applied for sainthood, and I don't have it all figured out. None of that is necessary in order to achieve sobriety. I immersed myself in AA and in as much treatment as I could stand. With alcoholism, it's always better to err on the side of too much, than too little. I put my life on hold for more than a year in order to achieve sobriety. It was a slow and arduous process that was rife with cravings, despair, and what Aaron Beck refers to as the Cognitive/Depressive Triad: "I suck, my life sucks, and the future is dismal." These are, within the context of this thread, "alcoholic lies" that carry only the dubious "benefit" of allowing us to continue to drink. And, of course, that's what we do. Once we know we have a problem, continuing to drink is the big lie that we tell ourselves. Debates about whether or not we're "recovered" or "recovering," about whether or not we're always "getting sober" or have "achieved sobriety" are fundamentally useless when the goal is to get sober. We know when we've recovered, and we know when we have not. We also know how to get there, despite our protests that we're "lost" or that we cannot or will not do whatever is necessary to achieve sobriety. False starts, and as you commented, waiting for a "magic wand," haven't worked. This has been going on for more than a year. The early thrust of this thread was about your not taking suggestions, not taking actions on your own behalf; a veritable playground for cravings and eventual relapses. By not taking action, you've resigned yourself to live in a world of untreated alcoholism. It is little wonder that you feel "defenseless" against cravings, and it should no longer be a surprise when you pick up. The remedy is much less aggressive than sacrificing a limb and is not at all violent. It works for millions of people. The only question is when you're willing to start.