I don't know what to say on your thread, Serenidad, because I've said it all before. I made many suggestions. Two in particular - therapy & rehab (or IOP) are the ones I'm still inclined to mention. If your insurance won't pay there are options out there that are free. Some of these rehabs will work with you a case by case basis. I have excellent insurance through my husband, and still, the rehab where I attended IOP worked with me and got all of the financials out of the way so I was freed up to concentrate on getting the work done. My suggestion is the call a few and talk to them. Tell them what's going on, your reservations about going due to finances, and you might just be surprised.
Hang in there, Serenidad.
Don't let any shame or embarrassment about relapse prevent you from getting sober again!