Couldn't agree more, Lorelai. And it is lovely to see you popping back in. You were (and are) an inspiration to me.
For me, love is not sticking by someone no matter what. Love is about being part of providing an environment for someone's personal growth, if that doesn't sound too new-agey. And that includes mine. In a relationship where there is no addiction involved, this may mean supporting the decision to pursue a dream or reaching a compromise on working arrangements, for example. With an addict, staying by them through thick and thin may not contribute to their spiritual growth AT ALL, although it may seem so to outsiders. Letting them go and find their own way is love. This, of course, depends on the individual and the situation, however if all we are doing is perpetuating the behaviour and neglecting our own growth, then I don't really understand how this is really love.
I was reading "The Road Less Travelled" last might - can you tell?