Two months and five days since I left her. Things are looking up. After not hearing from her for over a month, she dropped off my things on my front porch. I'm wondering if it was manipulative to see if I'm thinking about her or if she just thought that I would come back if she held onto my things. I returned her things within a week or two of us splitting up.
I've been keeping my distance, and after a lot of analysis and reconnecting with her brother's ex, I realize that everyone in the family has a sickness, whether it is alcoholism or codependency/enabling. Now I see why my sponsor said to cut ties to the whole family, and I'm grateful I did. Her brother's ex provided some insight into the family. Her brother is exactly the same. Her dad is exactly the same. It's a sick and twisted system, and I'm just glad to be out.
This could have been much worse if there had been marriage and kids involved. I still have my life ahead of me, and I have time to repair the damage that was done. I've closed the door. I can move on. There is hope for a better future without her alcoholism and abuse. I realize that I have value as a person. I don't need to let my life be defined as one in servitude to an alcoholic that cheats on me, does drugs, and verbally abuses or manipulates me. She doesn't get to define who I am. I define who I am, and I'm saying that I deserve better than the way she treated me. I'm not just some neutered coward, like she said I was. I'm more of a man than her dad ever was. I was man enough to walk away and break the secret to her family, so she would have a chance at getting help. I can choose differently, and I can be happier on my own or eventually with someone who loves me the right way.