Been there done that. I do get the pain.
You have to realize though that he has some MAJOR issues that in my opinion go way beyond alcohol and drugs. I have no clue what you would call it, but see him for what he is. His actions portray a deeply disturbed man.
Try and focus on that and once again start the process of letting go.
It just takes time. I promise though it gets easier to see them for who they are and eventually you just get fed up.