Hi March1234. I'm not trying to bum you out but you can't help her control her drinking. If both of you tried for 20 years and eventually the marriage dissolved because of it I highly doubt she is a candidate for moderation. She's not a college student who had too much on spring break. Thoughts of being able to moderate are common among addicts once some clean time is logged, like some magic spell has been broken. She most likely honestly believes she can. You have said that you think the few glasses of wine isn't worth it. That is a sane response. Thinking a little wine is worth getting sucked back in part of the insanity that is addiction.