Hi Bluehawaii
I have a 25 year old daughter, alcoholic and drug addict who will celebrate 1 year sobriety next month. I understand your pain, anger, confusion and desperation. I apologize in advance, what I am about to say might be harsh but I think you need to hear it. I am NOT trying to be mean, just trying to help.
Your daughter needs treatment, probably in-patient but at the very least intensive outpatient. She is binge drinking and exhibiting violent, impulsive and dangerous behavior while drunk. She needs more help than you and weekly church attendance can offer.
Her crying and remorse is typical alcoholic behavior and works great on enabling parents. You see she's sorry and she goes to church, you forgive and throw her a b-day party? Her anxiety won't allow her to attend a meeting but it doesn't prevent her from attending a family gathering and getting drunk.
Our daughter's (who by the way also suffers from anxiety, depression, and ADD) alcohol and drug abuse started while in college and escalated at age 23 with a DUI, thank God she didn't hurt anyone or herself. Trust me, you don't want to go through that.
Your daughter has already shown that she is willing to drink and drive. Will you be able to live with yourself if she drinks, drives, and kills someone?
I know this sounds harsh but your daughter is playing you like a fiddle. She knows exactly what to say and do to "make everything all nice" for a week or 2. What she doesn't know how to do, because she doesn't have the tools, is to stay sober for any length of time. She needs help. Don't love her to death.