Bluehawaii, I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It has to be very difficult to know what's the right thing to do w/all this going on. I'm glad you found us here at SR and I hope you find the support you're looking for.
I don't know if I can be of much use to you myself, but there are certainly others here who have stood in your shoes and can offer both information and support. I'm sure one of them will be by soon. In the meantime, please read as much as you can in the forums, and don't miss the stickies at the top of the page--there is a wealth of experience, strength and hope there. You also might want to check this section of the forum--it's fairly new and is specifically for folks who have an addicted/alcoholic relative rather than a spouse or partner:
NEW! Family Members of Addicts and Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I can suggest looking into Alanon for some face-to-face support for yourself--please do consider it. The combo of Alanon and SR has been a powerful one for me.
Again, welcome, and I wish you strength and clarity as you move forward.