So now I'm the mean one....
Hello everyone. I hope you're having a nice day. Maybe today (father's day) is not an easy day for a lot of people in here, and I can honestly say that it isn't for me.
My A father has never been a real father to me. He's been more like a younger sibling or something.
He has emotionally and economically abused us (mom, brother and I) for my whole life and yet, I give him a present and a hug every year on father's day.
... I just don't feel like doing it this year. What do you suggest?
In another news, yesterday I hung out with mom and left my cellphone at home. It was nice. We went to a restaurant and she said she was still worried about me wanting to be with exabf. She said that my father and him we're very similar, and that exabf was even worse. It made me think a lot because is true... And, if I ever have children, I do not want them to feel responsible for their father's inability to, well, be a real dad.
After that, mom left me at a friend's birthday party and, guess who was there? Yes.... Exabf...
My heart felt scared. I felt scared.
He just basically got near me and said out loud that maybe I was beautiful but that I was a mean person and he would never ever remember me with joy... I ignored it and immediately asked one of my friends to take me home as I didn't expected him to be there (well, it was a bar, but still, no one told me he was going to be there)...
As I arrived home my friend left and apologized for the whole thing.
I didn't wanted to tell mom about this. What he told me was a great food for thought...
I felt like... Wait... So now that I'm no longer your doormat I'm a mean person...? Of course he feels that way. I was his doormat for two years. I believed everything he said. I forgave his insults, his abuse. I took h I m back many times. Of course I have to be mean and horrible now that I called him on his behavior...
It was just so ridiculous.
I felt like "wait... you're the one who's handsome but very mean". lol
If you ask me... I felt scared to see him. I didn't felt the "thing" you feel when you see someone you like or love... I felt scared.
But after his words... I felt pity.
He is like a child. Just like my father....