Is it bad I want to tell them that I don't want to spend time with them and I don't want to be near them because of x, y and z?
In my case I find I better be right about x, y and z before I lay down the law. But even then I generally opt for the quietly keeping my distance approach.
Everyone would like to think we should all get along great with every single family member but the reality is that doesnt happen all the time and thats ok.
There was a time when people left there families in europe to come to america to barely if ever go back to see them again. I dont think there is some rule somewhere that we have to remain close to every family member. It sure is nice but it doesnt always work.
There is also a level of tolerance that has to take place as well we cant just write off whomever. But I have some family members myself whom after years of trying and trying and trying I'm like I give up forget it its just not worth entering into that rhelm just to leave feeling crummy about myself again trying to please the unpleaseable etc..