This year I missed my 9 year olds first violin concert because I was "sick", really I was drunk. I went to a parent/teacher conference probably smelling of alcohol and with a wicked hangover. I told myself I was a functioning mom of 4 who happened to like a little wine in the evenings. Bull. We've all done things we are so profoundly ashamed of. The fact is, we can't undo them. But we are here changing our behavior and wanting and trying to change for ourselves and our loved ones. As a fellow wino mom who didn't start drinking until I was 35, please practice a little self love and treat yourself gently, even when those around you don't. It's gonna take time. Hugs!