16 Days and Staying Positive
Let me start by saying thank you to everyone on this site. I just registered today but through out the past sixteen days that I've been clean I have been poring over so many of these threads and feeling more and more inspired by everyone's stories. I am so grateful to have found this site when I did. I feel so blessed to feel strong in my commitment to be clean. A lot of that strength probably comes from knowing that when a day comes that I feel weak I'll have a way to seek out help.
Last night I went to my first ever NA meeting (also thanks to all the wonderful things I read on here) and I think God must have guided me because I don't think I could have found a better group to be my first. They seem more like family with each other, and most of them have multiple years clean. I did the usual newcomer move and sat at the back of the room listening by myself, and while they'd glance over at me with little smiles they gave me my space. By the end of the meeting when we were all standing outside I actually got the guts to talk to some of them, and they were more welcoming and understanding than I ever could have imagined.
It went so well I ended up going to another one today. To my surprise there were some familiar faces, and while I still don't quite have it in me to share in group, I did find myself opening up with a couple people in a great conversation before it started.
Seeing so many people come together from such Hellish experiences and be able to be so happy in their new lives and supportive of each other is such a hopeful message to me and just speaks volumes about the program and sense of community it creates.
When I first got clean I had so many doubts and the first week especially was so miserable for so many reasons. I just had so much anxiety and fear about how this could all end up and I prayed for the first time in so long, and ended up finding this forum and it's already become such a great help to me.
I'm glad I was able to make my first post here a positive one. I'm sure they won't all be, but today was a great day and I'm so grateful just to be able to be here. Thank you to everyone who contributes to this forum and I am looking forward to being able to be a bigger part of the sober community as I continue in my journey with all of you!
If anyone reading this is going through a tough time:
“Breathe.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.
You’ve been this uncomfortable, anxious and scared and you have survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too.
These feelings can’t break you. They are painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually they will pass.
Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon they are going to fade and when they do you will look on this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again.
This will pass. I promise you, this will pass.”