Tonight sucks
So after the fun of camping, tonight I had to send my son (who did not want to go) back to dad's for father's day weekend. Dad's house is incredibly unstable right now, with even dad admitting there are problems, so it breaks my heart to send him over when he is begging to stay here.
As soon as they left my driveway, I came in and opened the fridge, reaching for a beer. Thank God there are none in there. It is scary how automatic it can be to head for that drink. I came on here because right now, the big temptation is to jump in my car and drive to the local store. But, I will not. I am going to sit here and drink my water and get over this feeling of wanting to cry. Wanting to cry because it breaks my heart to send my boy somewhere he does not want to go (although I am sure he will have fun once he gets there), and wanting to cry as I have been feeling so good about my quit, and almost broke it.
I guess the keyword is almost, and I am still here...and my ex is at least good about calling for me to get little one if he is too unhappy over there.