Hi cricket, I don't like to hear how your husband is treating you and involving the kids. It shows very little concern for them. Are they old enough to talk to about how it's not right to involve them? I know it's a fine line.
I hope the divorce proceeds quickly and you're out of his clutches soon. Be hard and business-like because trying to meet him in the middle will not work. If you've arranged to take a day off, make sure you inform him and don't change your mind. If necessary, get an agreed schedule drawn up and stick to it like glue.