[/QUOTE walk away and learn to let go ... fast..[/QUOTE]
hk1993~ Hello girl,
I am so sorry this has happened but u are very supported.
I just went through something but he never really tried to get me back or keep me as the 2nd option or whatever your A is trying to do with you.
Mine just dumped me when he relapsed because I would not rescue him again and then all of a sudden he tells me about this girl in AA who is now going to help him.
I was immediately onto BS and did something I've never ever done in my life which is contact this girl.
She denied the romantic element of the relationship and so did her sponsor who has 20 years so i kind of believed it but honestly he was cheating and lying the minute I didn't come to the hospital. Details are what we al anon use to make rationalizations and twist facts.
This hurt me so bad I couldn't face or comprehend it for 60 days. One of the most demoralizing episodes I've ever know was when I picked him up drunk after he got kicked out of the dirty sober living the new AA girl put him in (Shocker right). I did it only looking for direct proof. I needed to know he was cheating. He wasn't even calling, saying he loved me or being with me anymore but I wasn't letting go.
Bottom line I saw the sexual text he sent to this girl. She wasn't responding that way but the point is I
still didn't completely let go until another month when I finally got a direct text from him sober, saying he was with his chick.
I made excuses, he was drunk when he sexted her, he had a brain injury, etc. That was all true but he still did what he did. I cried every day, lost tons of weight, could not eat, it was literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
My question is in response to the post above is,
how in the world do you learn to let go and walk away fast?
I mean you are so close one day and attached and then bam gone. Mine didn't even really want me back and now I am thinking maybe this was a good thing.
When I broke down once and saw him after the horribly demoralizing night I dropped him at the hotel drunk, it should of been NC right there.
The day after he said, no more kissing I have moved on..this hurt me so much. I couldn't believe what was happening, it was a nightmare that wouldn't end.
I listened and didn't call again but then 4 days later he sends the TEXT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING. .there is another thread under this name with a similar story u should read.
After the text. "I'm at lunch with my chic, I will call you later," I changed my phone number and went NC....The frickin audacity. ..after everything we were to each other and all I did, this is how he tells me.
Nobody believes he's really with anyone legitimately but those thoughts put me back in hope and denial. Sorry so long but do you see what I'm getting at here?
I couldn't let go for 60 days even though he wasn't making any promises, telling me he loved me and pretty much hinting he had another and screw me. SO I can imagine how utter painful and confusing this is for you.
I want so badly to fight back, contact this girl, get more proof, confront who lied to me, but I walked away...I didn't walk away fast, it took what it took.
I'm still in it, waking up in the middle of the night like now wanting to take action but I don't. I'm listening to the women on these posts and a lot of the time it's pissing me off!!! Because I want it different, I want him to come back with amends and promises but he's only got a month sober, it won't mean a thing and he's not...
guess he's just perfectly fine with her and replaced me in a few days from a hospital bed no less. She was willing to do what I wasn't and that's all it came down to, it hurts like a knife.
Stay Safe But How You Learn to let go fast? I don't think I ever will but I did walk away. .
and through NC I met a new friend and got a job interview and little pieces of my life are coming back.
This can happen for you too, I am very stubborn, won't let go, won't surrender but I'm forcing myself.
Post to me anytime, we are all here for you.
Kzen
