lucyloo14

Good morning from the UK! This is me at day one feeling very embarrassed because the last time I was on this sight I was doing great and now I have faced up to the fact that I have well and truly crashed. This should be me stopped for 5 months but a few weeks ago I really fancied that nice glass of chilled white wine in the sunshine, I could do it just one one -couldn't i? Well no I couldn't and I have slipped right back into my old routine finishing work at 6pm and by 6:05pm glass of wine in hand followed by the bottle if not one and a half.

Last night having drank every night for 2 weeks, I drank nearly 2 bottles of wine and pretty much pissed off my whole family - I can't even remember all of it! - this mornings silent treatment really got to me. I deserve it, I would not stop even when they begged me and now I feel so stupid. I am tired and grumpy with no energy and i know I am drinking myself to an early grave.

Why couldn't I just stay off it? I was so positive and determined. Am I kidding myself that I can get back on the wagon and stay on it? how have people managed it? I want to stop this time, I really do but I am so scared that I can't. I hate seeing the disappointment in my family's eyes and just saying sorry simply won't cut it this time.

Silly me thought I had cracked it after a month or so and didn't need to keep on this site - how wrong was I?

Please help me sort this.
Thanks