Kallioya

Ok I'm seeking some understanding into the behaviour of an alcoholic...please don't laugh...
My elderly mother is a high functioning alcoholic. She has had numerous emotional blow ups at me all my life.
The final time I saw her (last year) I told her is a calm and gentle way...that "as soon as everyone in the family starts accepting responsibility for their contribution to the dysfunction of our family the sooner the healing can begin". To put it simple...she freakin lost it on me...except this time it was in front of company. Usually her emotional abuse occurs behind closed doors . She then plays the victim and I am once again the scapegoat. Everything she does to me is deniable except this time.. (Whew)
When this situation occurred...I remained calm..let her finish her rant and we went to my place. She then asked me to call my son to come pick her up. I did...my son has now been triangulated !!!
Waiting for my sons arrival I treated her respectfully, told her I loved her...3x and when my son arrived...told her I loved her again. She then left . I have not spoken to her since...we have exchanged Christmas gifts and on Mother's Day I sent her a nuetral happy Mother's Day email. Recently she had a birthday...we sent her flowers...she received the flowers...
She has yet to respond to either the Mother's Day wish or the birthday flowers.
Now my entire family all have issues with alcohol ...multi -generational. My husband and I are non-drinkers. We may have a glass of wine on a special occasion To toast with, but that's about it.
I guess the issue I'm having is trying to figure out or come to terms with the behaviour ! I just don't get it??? Can someone please explain it to me? Thanks a bunch
Just want to add I do go to alanon...as I know I need help...I just need some clarification as to what is going on and how others my have handled similar situations. Thanks again..