I had some serious textbook kindling the last time I drank a year ago. Sounds obvious (but it took me years to understand this) but the only way to ensure I never had to deal with kindling again was to remain totally, unflinchingly, stone sober. Gosh I wish I would have realized that earlier.
I've been sober a year but I know that if I EVER picked up again I would be right back to the dread and hangovers. Two drinks? Who would I be kidding? Only abstinence works here.
One thing I love about sobriety is that it comes with some awesome absolute guarantees.
My favorite is the guarantee is that as long as I don't drink, I'll never be hungover/kindling/all that terror ever again.
I've tried it and it works. One great year kindling free.
Permanent damage? Probably not. Our bodies are amazing at healing when you take alcohol out if the equation aka Stop poisoning our bodies.
Your body does change after years of alcoholic drinking. It will never handle alcohol like a normal person. However, we can go on to lead normal healthy lives when we're sober.
Trust me, I tried every which way to drink without consequences, specifically kindling/withdrawal/hangovers. Vitamins, lots of water, rest, exercise. Never worked. I can confidently say that I would be dead by now if I had continued my experiments. My body was really shutting down a year ago. I even have the little note from the doctor.
Nobody ever wants to drink themselves to death. They just keep trying to figure out a way to make alcohol work some how, some way.
Not to sound too morbid, but that's what it really cones down to. We're getting sober to save our lives here.
Sounds like you're right about where I was last June. Drinking had (astonishingly) become harder than not drinking. Boy was that a surprise!
I feel like stopping was more of a relief than a burden and boy did I get close to the edge of the cliff.
PS: I never thought it would happen, but I was just thinking today how my life seems totally normal as a non-drinker. I NEVER thought I would say that. Ever. Give it a year and you start to like the new better way of living.