Hi Jarp,
I think you should give yourself some credit. You say "I haven't done that well with this" when it looks to me like you're holding together home and family as well as a stressful job. I would suggest taking a deep breath and giving yourself a pat on the back before following the advice above to map out your options moving forward.
As an educator and mom of 3, I have a suggestion for your son, too. My first daughter was a slow reader until her granny started reading "Harry Potter" to her, via Skype. Can you get your mom to do that? My daughter was so excited by the story, once she got hooked (almost immediately), that she started trying to figure out how to read when granny wasn't available to read to her. That book is magic for kids. If your mom isn't available, maybe an older sibling or babysitter, or you, could find time?
Take care, and know that you're not the only one dealing with the fallout of living with an AH.