Hi jarp! I am glad you are still here even though things at home are bad. I would like to clear the air a bit. Your husband has relapsed and is in active alcoholism again. No building up going on. It's a done deal.
If I remember correctly he was also diagnosed as borderline? If this is the case he needs lifelong medication and therapy. Otherwise he is just going to cycle through with addiction, depression, etc. Forever. I am so sorry. But, it really does sound like you need to start setting up a support system for you and the kids that does not include him being around at all