Wow. That was wonderful to read...it felt so good to say those things to myself. It has been printed, signed and is now on the refridgerator door!! I think I will just let my oldest son see it and read it on his own. I asked him earlier if he would like to 'talk' about what happened and he said.."I don't really like to talk, mom.." (He's 13!! haha)..so I let him be. This way, he'll see it and can quietly read it on his own and learn from it. Maybe he'd be willing to talk sometime. Thank you for that. I will try to get to the bookstore to get that book as soon as tomorrow. Also, how do I proceed with my 12 steps?? I want to start step one as soon as I can so I can get out of this horrible place I am in. I know it will take a long time but its better sooner than later. Shalom.