I'm still here too! Hi guys! I went through a really rough patch, just completely depressed and anxious and avoiding leaving the house or even doing anything remotely productive.
But I think most of it was just expecting too much of myself too soon, without being proud of what I actually have achieved.
I also said the long overdue *final* goodbye to my ex a few weeks ago and stopped feeling responsible for his depression and addiction, it's an enormous relief to not have that stress in my life and to not feel guilty any more.
I've also stopped feeling guilty for not seeing friends (the ones who drink constantly and only want to meet at pubs) im still in my 20s so I often feel like I should be out with people constantly and just deal with the drinking, but I've realised that's just stupid it's not even what I want - I truly love and actually far prefer just spending time with my family, studying, relaxing at home, and catching up with my few close friends at coffee shops.
It sounds so obvious but it only recently occurred to me that I don't need to do what other people my age are doing or what others think I should be doing in order to enjoy life. Even when I was drinking I hated big social situations or noisy pubs, so I might as well just accept and embrace my introverted self as I am
Life has been much easier since!!
Going to read back a bit more and see what I missed, hope you're all well!