But their well-meaning phrases did not help ease my pain and I was so in love with my man that at the time I WOULD HAVE taken the BULLET for him. And I had years of codependent recovery at the time. But the longing for his presence, the willingness to stick by him, and the disbelief that he could be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT man in relapse all made me emotionally ill.
Because I know what recovery looks like, I know what is expected of an addict working a 12 Step program, and therefore I KNOW not to seek him out in any way.
Thank you so much for this BlueJay! I relate completely and your words are refreshing. We do know what recovery looks like and what needs to happen.
I have also been in complete disbelief over how different my guy was in relapse, I still am, I am only on 28 days NC right now but I wanted that bullet too. Few people understand why I choose to hold space for his recovery but I do, I have a lot to learn myself.
