I think are some things that defy making sense of AF.
There's a Tom Waits song 'Come on up to the House' with a line in it about
'life seems nasty, brutish and short' and it does sometimes.
We all have to find that 'house', that dependable safe place where we can heal. Sometimes it's outside of us, sometimes it's within. Sometimes it's both
I wish healing and peace for you AF
D