Hey AF,
I do hug. So here is a hug and a smile.
&
We cannot resolve issues unless we first know what they are, right? Stringing sober days allows for the opportunity to say "I am not OK with this", recognize what "this" is, how we feel having "this" in our life and then take steps to either accept or deflate and reclaim the power from the situation. This is how I perceive the purpose, AF, for presenting your experiences. Just like you wrote, it takes time and good, honest discussion with someone willing to work with you for your end goal.
Over the last year I have intentionally written some really challenging posts. Putting it out there on display allows for the opportunity to whittle away at the enormity of the issue so it becomes a toothpick and not a Sequoia in the heart. The community here is amazing and generous for helping to see things in a different light.
The process you are going through requires fortitude and honesty. So bravo and please keep posting. In this way it is easy to see how alcohol just interrupts, distorts and ultimately makes us beholden to a bunch of nameless junk - with little opportunity to let go.
Just some thoughts. Keep talking, writing. Keep listening.
I'm really sorry that your heart is hurting right now.