You get to a meeting so that you can figure out what is real physically and what is your head (your disease). A noon meeting is a perfect idea, good for you.
don't use today, don't use for the next hour, just get through the day hour by hour, it will pass, I promise.
And you are right, your disease wants to kill you, sounds harsh but I know mine sure as heck does. Or worse wants me miseralbe, hating myself and using on the streets for the rest of my life.