Hi All
I posted on SR a few weeks ago about quitting drinking. That attempt to quit was, looking back on it, quite half-hearted, goal-less, and it only lasted a few beer-free days before I started drinking again (and twice as much as before).
A few things have happened in the last month or so that have made me much more determined this time. A few health problems have cropped up (fairly minor ones, but they could potentially get much worse if I don't stop drinking); I applied for a new job and have an interview next week - but realised that I'm too scared of getting the job and failing at it (and also highly anxious/terrified about working with strangers); and I've realised just how much my brain-power has slipped. I was never brilliant at it, but I used to have a big interest in mathematics - I loved solving problems, and out of boredom and curiosity I opened one of my old text books this morning and was depressed to find just how impossible even the simplest concepts seem to me now; I've lost any kind of ability to focus and concentrate, and that seems like a big red flashing warning sign to me.
Added to the day-to-day grind that comes with nightly heavy drinking - irritability, lethargy, apathy and never getting a decent night's sleep, and I just think that if I don't quit right now, there could be much worse things on the horizon.
So I'm quitting today, and my goal/distraction (eccentric as it might seem) is to work through what used to be my favourite maths text book. I also have a to-do list of work I need to do on the garden and the house, to have a physical-work distraction when I get frustrated that my beer-addled brain won't work anymore (which I think is inevitable).
So this is day one again for me.