hi Faith
feel for you and relate.
seems like by your words most
of the problems are with you and
your husband not in agreement
can you communicate to your husband
on what you can both do to lighten
your load with your son. sounds pretty
bleak the way things are right now.
but, nothing changes if nothing changes !
I have often hear that expression here
and it has helped me to hear that.
Try to agree on the right cource of action
Hugs
liddy