Igirl66-
I agree with what others have posted.
As a fellow person in ED recovery and who loves/loved a problem drinker I have to say that my choice in person had a lot to do with my own recovery, where I was and what I thought of myself.
My codependent behaviors definately played a role in my eating "stuff" and my eating stuff made me feel unworthy of a partner that could truly be deeply and genuinely there for me.
There are places to go for Co-dependent recoveries, and for ED stuff.
I balked at Al-anon for a long time BECAUSE I was already working on my ED stuff and I did not think I had room for "someone else's disease." I had no idea that going to Al-anon would help my food behavior so significantly.
It has taken me a long time to realize that though my drug of choice is different, I use food in similar ways to my loved one who used alcohol. To numb out, not feel, and to not connect/put a wall up for myself with others. For me it was safer than being rejected for my real self.
So my question is this? How has your co-dependent behaviors and your ED overlapped? How have either of them impacted your relationships and your life (even with your ex)?