MMcCartney

I have been married to a functioning alcoholic for almost twenty years. He has always done everything big, big, big. He is an extremely hard worker. Five years ago, he got a DUI. His company never found out about it. I had to drive him to all of his appointments for three months. We have our health care through his company.

He has been going out to bars after work on a daily basis and then coming home with a big bottle of wine which he polishes off before he goes to sleep. He has a very difficult time sleeping and getting up in the morning.

Recently he has been making very poor judgment calls and I feel as though things are spiraling out of control. Several weeks ago, he was with one of his twenty five year old employees going to Quick Check in her car to buy cigarettes. She wears very sexy clothes and looks like a hooker. Someone called the cops. She had a sizable amount of dope in her glove compartment along with a white substance which they assumed was cocaine. Both of them got arrested. Hubby had to pay an attorney a sizable amount of money, which he refuses to disclose. He has another court date in several weeks.

He has not told anyone about the arrest. He spent the next day with his family for his nephews communion party.

The part that really drives me crazy is that he has a lot of creative talents. He can draw, paint, plays the piano and the accordion. He is capable of doing really great things. Instead he chooses to get loaded every day. He justifies his behavior by the fact that he works so hard. He feels that he deserves to have a drink after work. The problem is that it can never be just one. I've noticed that he will not attend an event that does not have alcohol available.

I am getting concerned that he is going to destroy everything that we have worked for so hard. It is a hopeless feeling. He thinks he is smarter than anyone he has ever met and refuses to get help. Any suggestions for coping would be much appreciated.