I want to put myself in danger, risk a DUI, get laid with a crazy hookup, and risk an unwanted pregnancy. Play chicken with my boss ( what if I don't come in to work tomorrow? what are you going to do? , fire me? ) I want to wake up with cuts or in the hospital.... I bet I can run down my stairs after 15 beers without falling.... I want to be spinning at 5am laughing knowing that I'm an hour from sunrise, where I have to wake up and be at work.
actually NONE of that sounds Interesting or Exciting or Fun. sounds like just another drunken incident. and about as BORING as it gets.
a saying from AA is "a new pair of glasses" - a new refreshed way to look at the world and at ourselves. to accept we can't run away from being grown ups, that life is not there just to keep US enterained, and that if WE want an exciting fulfilling life we must get off our duffs and put forth the effort. we must be willing to try NEW things, explore new avenues, open our minds to new ideas. to break out of our miserably uncomfortable COMFORT ZONE.
and the addict inside of us wants NONE of that. no change, no try, no nothing but the soul killing emptiness of one last time.