The way I see it, that'll be the 'ism'...
Life a bit ****?? Don't worry, you can make it better with:
risk- taking thrills (gambling; sex)
or why not try some mind-altering drugs (alcohol; pills; whatever)?
Being
sober is not drinking; drugging; gambling; sexing (or whatever your escape of choice is. You take away your means of washing the greyness from your vision and everything is dark and scary.
Recovery is finding ways to change our dodgy / skewed perception so that we don't need those behaviours to keep the greyness at bay. It's not easy, and most people will have needed help of some kind. (For me personally, that came in the form of the 12-steps program of AA.)
Good luck. I'd suggest looking at your sobriety plan and making sure there is a means of recovery included in it. I wish you all that best in your recovery - lots of advise and experience on this site to draw from.
