Hello My Dear Undies,
Yes, it is true. It was two years ago on June 3rd that I was able to find my way to my therapist, then my first ever seriously taken AA meeting. These past 24 months have taken me on the most exciting journey of my life. One that has helped to open my heart, body and soul to recovery.
Along the way I have met so many amazing new friends. So many from this very thread on SR that I know will be a part of my life for many years to come.
It was at 6 months sober exactly at an AA meeting that I realized the possibilities that could exist if I remained willing to take any measure to change. I remember early on some old time AA'rs told me that I only had to change one thing...EVERYTHING. I remember how upset at that I was by that comment. How foolish I thought that was. Today, as I look back, I realize that I have done just that. I left that ego driven, self centered, self seeking, fearful person behind. Not far behind, but I keep running faster than he. I, simply put, am changing EVERYTHING about my actively addicted old self. It is a gradual process, with no end game.
I learned that it was possible to find true peace and serenity and live much of the time a joyous, happy and free life. The first letters of those words were made into a design by my closest friend in recovery and me while having dinner one evening. We had pendants made. We vowed to follow that quest. I had the design tattooed on my back and was told by a mentor in St Thomas during my time there that now recovery had my front via my pendant and back via my tatt.
That friend relapsed last summer and died this past February. She was a beautiful soul and I miss her dearly...especially today! In her honor I will work hard every day to live up to that pledge in my actions and deeds....and hopefully spread our message whenever possible.
I have been to over 600 aa meetings. While cutting back recently, I have spent countless hours on SR. Recovery is the most important aspect of the new life.
I was told to be sure to be sure to stay for the miracle to happen. I have had many. They say to stick around through the tough times because it gets better. For me it hasn't just been better, it has become great!
Thank you for the very sweet things that were said. I am humbled and grateful that I may have offered a nugget or two to assist. Haha, Glee, for sure we have developed a special bond that I treasure....and it has for sure been a two way street. One that I hope lasts a lifetime. I say this not only to you, but everyone...this is a WE journey, and anything I have offered has come back to me many fold. Yes, for me, I can't keep the most precious gift I have ever had unless I look every day to find ways to give it away.
My best to all of you as we continue on this journey together.
#undieforlife
Carlos xxoo