Originally Posted by
SlickRick07 
I appreciate the reply. I haven't been sober for a long time. As I've said, I'm more frustrated than anything.
Not everyone here is sober dude. But a lot of people here do know what it's like to not be sober for a long time (myself included), the reasons behind it and also the possible solutions. You are in the right place anyway.
Originally Posted by
SlickRick07 I haven't felt okay since the day I found out. I remember the day I found out I went to her apartment to confront her. After hold her crying all those nights she refused to see me. It was bad for a long time until it was a little better. I thought about killing myself for a long time. Not for her, but just b/c of how my life had turned out. I had taken in so much sadness and hurt. So, I sought help, and was told I didn't have an issue. I'm not among anyone. The only reason I came here was b/c I have no one in real life. There really isn't anything for anyone to say. The only thing I desire is to know what it feels like for someone to love me. Thats something I've never felt before.
Aw man, about the girl- please don't remind me! I actually felt a little bit of some of the associated emotions just from reading your post. 10 years for me ended in an almost identical fashion. And I'm just a few years older than you.
Actually she let me into the apartment but denied all, then F'd off for a week leaving me with the child knowing that I was a wreck and would be drinking behind his back (we had a great time actually, that was the last time I seen him).
Then she contacted a relative of mine to say she wanted me gone from her apartment because I was drinking. I had to deal with her then, a domineering teetotal busybody and everything became about "my drinking" from that point on.
No answers, I had been sober for a couple of months prior and had an agreement in place with my ex around visitation and a new clear plan for myself- all of that was lost. I was on my ass and all because of "my drinking", in the not real world.
So rather than deal with the situation in an honest way that's how my ex managed to turn it all back around on me. It was an horrific end to an already particularly brutal year regarding my parents. I drank every day for another year after that.
Indeed I do know what you are going through, and most certainly dude. I appreciate you have to go through the motions, but you will get over the girl (as I have) . 'These Things Take Time' amigo, a good song by The Smiths so look that one up...