Hi, Rick.
I'm so sorry you're hurting.
Stick with SR. Post often. Join your monthly class. The link to the class of June 2015 is on the Newcomers Forum.
I joined my class and found the support there that helped me so much. The other day, I was telling a friend there -- one who had a really, really rough upbringing -- that the genetic lottery can be very unkind. But it doesn't prevent us from growing, finding other places in the world where we can become healthier people. And I truly believe that.
Life must feel hard right now. Please know that it can be better. By giving up alcohol -- forever -- we can create new paths for ourselves. Dee has given a lot of himself here in how he's shared his story. He shows us how very much is truly possible and very much in our reach.
I wish you the very best. Stick around.