I seem to carry this dysfunction with me wherever I go.
I can relate. I left quickly too -- because of a really heated argument that my child watched and then begged her dad (at 3 years old) "to stop it and just be nice to my mom." it was gutwrenching. looking back, i am thankful for that horrific moment. he turned the heat up so high that i had no choice but to take my baby and get the hell out of the proverbial kitchen.
finanically, it is terrifying. it is paycheck to paycheck. it is daycare tuition and new clothes and car payments with one half (the much smaller half) of the income we had built our lives around for 5 years. I get so angry at him when something unexpected comes up and i figure out how to shuffle dollars around to make it work - because he doesn't have to feel the stress. I've filed child support, but half of nothing is nothing - and he literally has $17.00 in his checking account.
I am in your boat. My parents have been a life saver to me as well and i always say when i get to the other side of this, I'll make sure I pay it forward and help someone who's doing everything they can but "Everything" doesnt always make ends meet. I feel like its not fair that we made the bravest choice - to walk - and we still pay the consequences of the addict. But i believe in karma 100% & that one day, I'll remember living in a tiny apartment barely making it but damn happy that I put my kid first
Hugs!