I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had to deal with death quite a bit here in my own life during the last couple of years.
I can tell you that in my experience, it was a million times better for me to deal with it without booze. There's no telling what kind of messes I'd have gotten into if I had drank during the death of my father or any of my grandparents.
In my experience, it was just my addictive voice that tried to convince me that drinking alcohol would somehow make it better and help me deal with it better.
What a load of bull.
If I am feeling sad or depressed over something, including death, pouring bottles of a toxic depressant into my body is NOT going to help make anything better.