CarmenLove

OK I would like to vent.

This is the situation I find myself in.

I am just feeling negative today.

I have tried SO HARD to hold my life together, and whatever I try it just seems to fall further apart.

I am BROKE. Like as in severely.

When I left my A two months ago, I did it quickly, without much for planning. I was terrified of getting stuck in that situation, any my mental health and emotional wellbeing were not doing so well.

Luckily I had my parents to fall back on in terms of somewhere to stay.

However my mum has been lending me money for the past few years to help me get started in my business, and for various other things.

I was expecting to be profitable with my business by now, however sometimes the money just doesn't come.

I feel like such a failure having to go back to my mum for handouts and support at my age (34)!!!

My business took a nose dive when he started using last year, and I am not saying it is all because of that. I am sure it's not. I am aware I have to learn how to be responsible with money, and that is where I am at now.

I'm just frustrated though.

So after I left I was back at my parents, in the tiniest little room, and so I brought myself over to France for a business conference, thinking I would be able to make enough money through my biz, or get a summer job or something, to get my head and emotions together

Again, no cigar.

Sigh.

I'm so tired.

I seem to carry this dysfunction with me wherever I go.

However I am ready to head to London and get a job. I will keep my business going as well.

I WILL DO THIS.

I will be successful, and happy.

My life just feels like such a car crash right now.

I really value freedom, hence setting up my business, however right now with the debts and money troubles it just feels like no foundation to build on.

Thanks for listening.